God’s love transformed me from fearful and controlling to faith-filled and loving! There was a time when I trusted no one, not even God, yet I sought out everyone’s approval. I focused on performance which led to perfectionism and people pleasing. I believed that if I was in control and independent no one could hurt me and everyone would love me. Because I was driven by tasks instead of relationships, I often came across as uncaring and aggressive. Yet I hung on to the belief that I could know peace and avoid conflict. Instead I had no peace only self-imposed obligations, and a critical attitude followed by doubt for not being good enough, ever!
The cliché Let go and let God drove me crazy for no sooner would I let something go it was back within the perimeter of my mind causing havoc with fear, worry and anxiety. Finally, I came to realize that if I could trust a stranger to stay on his side of the road while driving how much more could I trust my God, the King of the World, to take care of me. Once I opened my heart to the redemptive power of God’s love, He started to transform my fears into faith – fashioning an unshakeable assurance in His promises.
With the revelation that God is about relationship not rules and progress not perfection, I willingly started giving my cares to Him. Trusting Him completely – This has saved me much, worry, anxiety, and wasted time trying to figure things out for myself. As in Zephaniah 3:17 “with His love, he calms my fears.”
Finally, trusting that perfect love casts out all fear led me to engage in love, know peace, embrace hope and walk in faith – Forgoing All (my insecurities, need for control, need to be right…) I Trust Him! I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Today, because of God’s transformational love and grace, I do my utmost to love mightily, serve purposefully and leave the rest to Him. God’s love transformed my life from one of resentful control freak to one of surrender and abandonment in Him. God’s love is faithful!