I have been living with depression and anxiety for more than a decade. It affects how I think, feel and behave and has led to a variety of problems (and solutions). In this blog I will focus on the physical impacts and the godly wisdom my support crew has provided along the way.
Two significant symptoms of depression, lack of motivation and lack of enjoyment, eat away at my physical resilience. When I am in this state it is difficult to maintain a routine let alone practice the disciplines necessary for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. I share more about doing what needs to be done in a blog I penned in 2016.
https://calledtoloveabundantly.blogspot.com/2016/02/do-what-needs-to-be-done-even-though.html
While Romans 12:1 commands me to be a living sacrifice to God and I know that God considers my body as His temple; Every. Single. Day. I fail to worship Him this way. Verse 2 commands me to let God transform me into a new person by changing the way I think. Anyone who knows me knows how much I wrestle with stinking thinking. It is the root of my physical demise. Of my own will, I am not able to change it yet Every Single Day I must set it aside to meet my body’s basic needs for hydration, nutrition, exercise, rest, creativity, peace and joy in the Lord.
As a person with chronic migraines, IBD as well as complicated mental health conditions you may notice that I have less stamina and can be more cautious in my choices. I may even cancel plans or prefer a phone call to a face to face meeting.That’s because I am trying to control my energy level/capacity (https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/social-instincts/202405/spoon-theory-can-change-the-way-you-view-mental-health) so that I can Get.It.Done. Then. Crash and either do something numbing, sleep for hours or become a recluse until my energy is renewed.
This behavior, although familiar, was not effective because it did not sustain my energy or maintain the disciplines necessary for my well-being. My current journey involves learning to pace myself, accepting that my capacity is different than it used to be, setting aside comparison and being compassionate to myself.
It’s ok not to get it right or perfectly! It’s okay to start small and adjust incrementally! It’s ok to start again tomorrow! To compare is to despair! It is important not to quit or give up!
With God, nothing is impossible! Not only can He transform me into a new person by changing the way I think. He can give me the strength and willingness to change, persevere and pace myself.
In my daily meditation I “Asked God to give me the strength to change. When you ask God to change you, you must at the same time fully trust Him. If you do not fully trust Him, God may answer your prayer as a rescuer does that of a drowning person who is putting up too much of a struggle. The rescuer must first render the person still more helpless, until he or she is wholly at the rescuer’s mercy. Just so must we be wholly at God’s mercy before we can be rescued. I prayed that I may be willing to be changed. I prayed that I may put myself wholly at the mercy of God.” Quoted from the app 24 Hours a Day.
Personal Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for your faithfulness and unfailing love. Thank you for the abundant variety of food available to nourish me - thank you for allowing me to work with a professional to transform my gut health. May I be steadfast in my pursuit of healthy nutrition. Remind me to stomp on the enemy when fear rises or distorted thinking takes me away from “trust and obey”. I declare today that doubt, dread, discouragement and despair cannot dwell in me because I am seeking you first - your will, your power and your strength will carry me safely through this experience. I believe that you will transform my poor health to great health. Amen.
Then, following this prayer, we went on with our day which included a visit to the hospital to remove my kidney stent. Next, we went to ProResp to be fitted for a mask and rent an APAP machine to begin therapy/treatment for sleep apnea. We started off so early that by the time we were back home, I was exhausted. Having lived with pain, chronic or otherwise, most of my life, I have had a tendency (used to have) to focus on the problem and become discouraged. Add to that the fact that I used to have difficulty with change and I had the perfect recipe for worry and anxiety. I told Sean “no sooner is one problem taken care of yet another problem needs to be dealt with”. He reminded me that my God is greater than all my problems and encouraged me by saying “you are moving from one solution to another solution. Not from one problem to another”.
Wow!! This was divine inspiration!! My mindset changed and I was heartened and emboldened. God is good! God is faithful!
“Perseverance is the one virtue that really does multiply the value of all of the others. Faith has more impact when it perseveres. Love has more impact when it perseveres. Prayer can move mountains, when it perseveres. Carried by the Holy Spirit you continue to persevere, holding fast to the confession of your hope without wavering, because you know that He who promised is faithful!” - Quoted from a fellow prayer warrior
