Today I want to talk about how I am learning to guard my heart and calm my anxious thoughts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efs201uHR8c (20 minute testimony - from all addictions recovery meeting held August 9, 2023 - Ashes to Rubies - Life Lab)
In 2004, shortly after I came to a personal relationship with Jesus, God revealed to me the first scripture that would help me with anxious thinking, worry and fear. Matthew 6:25-34 repeatedly tells us not to worry; as I trust God for my life I can trust in Him to provide for every detail of my life. There is a hidden gem in the midst of all these worries - it can be found in verse 33 - seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you. Yet for years I focused primarily on verse 34. I memorized it, spoke it outloud, repeated it in prayer and tried to transform my thoughts - it was exhausting and all I gained at the time was more knowledge, not the peace of mind I was so desperately seeking.
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Fast forward to April 2013 this is the year my world and I came undone, and I stopped denying the depression that held me captive. – after several years in the same job, I found myself without, as the result of a reorganization. After 6 weeks without sleep accompanied with 24/7 intrusive and pervasive thinking, I finally conceded that my current state was not solely due to loss of employment but possibly the sign of something greater. Asking for help and admitting my suffering was challenging.
In addition to prescribed medication for depression, I began the daily practice of mindful meditation through my ever-growing faith in God instead of my self-reliance. It is that hope that pushed me to remove the covers over my darkness, get out of bed and get into the business of living life – it built me up and encouraged me to Seek God first and surrender my worry, anxiety, and fears – then slowly but surely my restoration began.
Where I used to fear, I pause and consider if the threat is real or learned.
Where I used to worry, I pray and ask myself what would be the worst case scenario. And if I am ok with it I can move on to the next thought.
Where I used to criticize, I create. No longer using my time as an artist as a reward but as an act of worship.
Where I used to judge, I motivate. I have been called to LOVE abundantly and time and time again I am choosing to lead others to victory through encouragement, edification and exhortation.
Thankfully I can counter worry with 365 scriptures - one for each day about “fear not” “do not fear” “do not be afraid.” While these verses are direct in saying to “not fear” - I recognize that “trust the Lord '' or “trust in the Lord” also implies not to worry and/or fear. In essence, the whole Bible is full of scripture that demonstrates evidence/proof of God’s care for me - It provides reminders of God’s love and faithfulness - and I can trust that if he did it before-He will do it again.
If I want to anchor my faith I need to be willing to Trust in God and follow Jesus.
Did you know that the average person thinks over 67,000 thoughts a day and thinking is to create so if I don’t manage my thoughts one thought can easily trigger another thought and my mind cascades into a spiral of intrusive thinking and before I know it, I speak and act out of a place of doubt (anxiety), insecurity, and fear.
You may be wondering how I learned to manage my thoughts actively and consciously?
It was a progressive learning curve that began with prayer and meditation and evolved into the search for opportunities for growth (relational, emotional, mental and spiritual).
1) meditate and pray with scriptures such as:
I was not given the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
Create in me a pure heart and renew in me a firm spirit.
It was in these promises that I learned that the opposite of fear is not faith or peace, but unconditional love from God, for God and for and from one another. This precipitated a transformation of my obsessive thoughts.
When insecurity, doubt and anxiety begin to show up I rely on meditation from Philippians 4:6-9 or take a 5 minute pause using the https://www.pauseapp.com/.
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
2) resist, redirect and renew my thoughts by expressing my gratitude in all circumstances, finding healthy ways to distract myself, and turning to solving a different problem. When an intrusive thought enters my mind, I visualize a stop sign and take my thought captive in my hands, throw it on the ground and stomp it with my feet.
3) I have a positive and unconditional regard for others; show love regularly, share my heart with others, be an encouragement, smile, give of myself and watch as the answers come to them.
4) When a change occurs that can cause stress, I recognize it, I accept it, I adapt, and I adjust as necessary by choosing to look at growth opportunities rather than negative challenges. Focus on what is instead of what could be - through therapy I learned and practiced changing the narrative of my story (belief) writing 5 other stories which remind me of my identity in God and block the lies the enemy has had me believing for too long.
5) Express gratitude: Psalm 56:3-4; Isaiah 43:19; Romans 8:38, 39
Chantale
May you be richly blessed, highly favored and deeply loved.
Create a great day and live a better life in the arms of your Creator!
PS - There is nothing I embrace more than God's faithfulness. I am forever amazed every time He connects His Word to my life! Matthew 6:33 is the first promise I stood on and continue to stand on as I am working on recovery. Tonight, as I was preparing to publish this post, He reminded me of the first Christian artist and songs I clung to in in a very difficult season almost 20 years ago - before I knew Jesus "you told me not to worry" Living for today - Natalie Grant.
