For 10 years now I have been living with depression and anxiety. I have a strong work ethic
and am a high functioning type A person both in my professional and personal life. The reason I
mention this is because for years my outward behavior and attitude didn’t match my feelings or
my thoughts. I learned to cope with this internal negative chatter by focusing on my performance,
approval seeking and ultimately perfecting perfectionism - setting unrealistic expectations and
refusing to accept anything less than perfection from myself and others.
April 2023 marked the 10th anniversary of the day my world and I came undone, and I stopped denying the depression that held me captive. – after several years in the same job, I found myself without, as the result of a reorganization. After 6 weeks without sleep accompanied with 24/7 intrusive and pervasive thinking, I finally conceded that my current state was not solely due to loss of employment or burn out but possibly the sign of something greater. Asking for help and admitting my suffering was challenging.
In addition to prescribed medication for insomnia, depression, and anxiety I began the daily practice of mindful meditation through my ever-growing faith in God instead of my self-reliance. It is that hope that pushed me to remove the covers over my darkness, get out of bed and get into the business of living life – it built me up and encouraged me to surrender my worry, anxiety, and fears – then slowly but surely my restoration began.
Where I used to fear, I pause.
Where I used to worry, I pray.
Where I used to criticize, I create.
Where I used to judge, I motivate.
In 2018, after leaving the private sector, and being new to the public service I completed much training. Mandatory training, job-specific training, and mental health training. Some of which directly impacted the trajectory of my life.
The Working Mind half day training organized by TBS and facilitated by the Mental Health Commission of Canada opened my eyes to resources I could use to promote awareness, reduce stigma, and increase my resilience. That day, for the first time, I used the mental health continuum model to self-assess the state of my mental health. As a result, I contacted EAP, met with my family doctor and together my manager and I set out a plan of action that would optimize my mental state and allow me to function well on and off the job. I strongly encourage this training and if, like me, you have lived experience with mental health encourage you to participate regularly because the best learning opportunities come from people like you and I who are living proof that we can thrive despite any mental health challenges. Check it out at theworkingmind.ca or complete a Continuum Self Check.
Since then, I have become a strong advocate for mental health in the workplace and am a certified Mental Health First Aid responder. If you are interested in knowing more, please reach out to me at chantale.davis@tbs-sct.gc.
I will never live the perfect life, but I can confidently say that I am living my best life. And I am here to assure you, as living proof, that this life is possible despite living with depression and anxiety.
If you take away nothing else from my story, please remember these things; perfection is the enemy of good, it’s okay to ask for help and you are not alone.
Chantale Davis
Create a great day and live a better life!
No comments:
Post a Comment