Is it biblical to forgive and forget?

Does true forgiveness always mean forgetting?

According to Corrie Ten Boom true forgiveness ranks as one of the sweetest and most pleasurable emotions that a human can feel; its after-effect is “a flood of joy and peace”.

Through my own experience of true forgiveness, I learned that only the conscious choice to obey God and forgive from the heart would set me FREE and allow me to make peace with my past. For instance, although I told my former husband that I forgave him for his offenses, I continued to harbor anger, resentment and bitterness towards him. It showed in my speech – name calling and gossip, my behavior – avoidance and unhealthy emotions, and my heart – self-pity, shame, guilt and anger. Even though I tried to walk the walk and talk the talk, my heart and soul were held in bondage by unforgiveness, the root of which was bitterness which grew from unresolved pain and strangled memories. Finally, 3 years later, out of a desire to be more like Christ, I was convicted to confess, repent forgive and make amends. My words though brief conveyed a soul and heart-felt apology; apologizing for the times I had acted out in bitterness or anger and letting him know that I no longer blamed either of us for the outcome. He too was sorry and we were able to move on. Much like Corrie Ten Boom I felt a flood of joy and peace. Moreover, I experienced God’s grace, mercy and love which he so freely poured into my heart showing me that I need to let it flow through me to others to fully experience FREEDOM and be in healthy relationships.

It is my understanding that forgetting is not a part of true forgiveness. Although we may think that it is implied in the bible, we may fail to understand that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. He does remember our actions only he chooses to wipe the slate clean instead - Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land”. I am grateful that he is a God of many chances forgiving, loving and merciful. I believe that forgetting would be detrimental to my growth and relationships. If we want to avoid making the same mistakes, set appropriate boundaries with our offenders and most importantly defeat Satan we must remember. On more than 48 occasions, the bible calls us to confess (admit or state that one has committed an offense) – this means remembering the offense, admitting it and recognizing the pain it caused. Furthermore, by confessing we will be blessed: “if we confess we will be forgiven and cleansed from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9) and “if we confess our sins to one another and pray for one another we may be healed” (James 5:16).

Essentially by confessing our offense/sin we are stepping out of denial and exposing it to the light where it loses its power. As I learned in Celebrate Recovery, denial keeps us in bondage. It is our refusal to admit the truth or reality that leads us to live a life of strife, shame and guilt. This can have many damaging effects on our relationships, health and spiritual growth.

In the 12 – step program of Celebrate Recovery I learned that forgiveness like love needs to become a way of life – I need to consciously Recognize the offense, Confess the offense, make Amends for the offense, Forgive the offense, and Repent from the offense to experience Freedom as well as restored relationships.

As Christ followers we are called to forgive: “give of ourselves unconditionally” as we did before the offense! Give out of grace, mercy and love! Give out of obedience! Forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave us (Eph. 4:32).


For more insight - check this out https://vimeo.com/139860242