In discovering ways to guard my heart I have discovered some of the things that hinder me from doing it well. Things such as feelings, thoughts and striving.
Anxiety is one such feeling. A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about something with an uncertain outcome.
Obsession is one such thought. An intrusive thought that continually preoccupies my mind often to an unreasonable degree.
Striving has been the biggest hindrance of all. In striving, I fight to maintain control, trying hard to have things done my way coming into opposition and resistance not only to circumstances but more importantly people - at the risk of jeopardizing relationships with the ones I love most.
Yet despite knowing all this, I often fumble and fall only to get up and start over. Each time though, I get a little closer to the goal as I draw hope from Jesus knowing that apart from Him I can do nothing. (John 15:5)
I need to stop striving...to control my circumstances...to fix my husband......to work so hard...to rescue my sister...to figure it out. I need to stop striving and trust God (now that's a post for another day).
In the meantime, I will continue to echo the words of this song in my prayers because I know that I was made for so much more than striving.
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