"Jesus I will cling to you come what may" Even if by Mercy Me

It has been a long and challenging week and if I were to count the days I would be discouraged to note that too many of my days (over half of the month, every month) are spent directly dealing with the results of chronic illness and the other days are spent recuperating, making up for lost time and numerous attempts at living life and getting well. Chronic fatigue, migraines, anxiety, joint pain, digestive challenges and heart palpitations - all plague my body in the here and now yet I can truly  echo the words of this song knowing that it is well with my soul because I choose to cling to Jesus come what may.

The testimony that Bart Millard shares with his fans about his son Sam's struggle with diabetes resonates to the depth of my heart. If there is one thing that I would add it is that on some days I long to be normal - days where I don't need to inject myself to prevent anemia, go to sleep early so I can make it to work the next day, take medication at the onset of a migraine, turn off all the lights and block out noise for what seems like days or get shot up with adenosine to convert my heart rhythm from 200 beats to 100 or less.

This week was particularly draining because I experienced all of the above and more - yet at the onset, before the noise began to crowd my mind and heart - God poured out this song. And being that I often ask why, it caught my attention and played over and over in my mind until it brought a huge relief and smile to my face in the midst of my ambulance ride to the hospital Saturday night...

I struggled with calling 911 because sometimes my heart converts on its own and I didn't want to put anybody out - my need to be right and pride kept me from turning to prayer first. Finally, while I was waiting this song played in my heart anchoring me to the truth of who I am in Christ and reminding me that he has already won the battle - that like Sean's cancer journey - this is but a bump in the road and a journey I must walk - on good days it's easy but on weeks like this I have been left wondering and then these words echoed in my heart reminding me of God's mighty power, his faithfulness and his goodness and that all I need to do to experience it is believe in him, be anchored in hope, show faith and pray for strength to sing "It is well with my soul".

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

    You've been faithful, You've been good
    All of my days
    Jesus, I will cling to You
    Come what may
   ‘Cause I know You're able
    I know You can

    Even if - testimony and song

    May this song encourage you as it has me, never give up, this world is only temporary and God is greater than     all your ups and downs combined. He has not forgotten you and can and will use us for his glory despite our         circumstances. May you be richly blessed.