Words matter.

Growing up, we often sang "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me". Well, if that were true then being called names such as, "brace face", "smarty pants", "microbe", "shorty", and "goody two shoes" would not have shaken my confidence, my identity and my self-esteem. Likewise, the words we speak everyday are heard in the depth of our soul and impact the way we respond or act. This can be said of our conversations with others and of our self talk.

Here are some examples of word choices we can stop using if we want to shift our mindset;

Try - implies that a perpetual effort is required - indicates that you are undecided or lack commitment (replace with do or do not).

Just - limits and minimizes the greatness of your experience/circumstance.

I know/understand - belittles the other person's experience instead sit still with them allowing them to process their pain. Simply listen. 

I have to - implies obligation, that I have no control. Instead use I get to or I want to which implies choice and is empowering.

I should - is based on others expectations, desires or needs. Instead use I could which leaves it to you to decide and is less draining and more energizing.

Although, as Canadians, we often say " I am sorry", it implies that the person saying it is unworthy or undeserving. Apologies are to be sincere, genuine - instead, acknowledge the person's feelings by saying "I am sorry you feel that way" or "excuse me"/"pardon me" when you bump into someone or accidently cause a problem. When warranted, ask for forgiveness which implies that you genuinely want to give as it was before.

Even your response to "how are you?" sets the tone for your attitude, outlook and potentially your day. Ever noticed that if you start your day grumbling and complaining, you end your day that way. Alternatively, when you choose to start your day with the truth of God's word and promises declaring your identity in Him, you spend and end your day in joy and peace despite life's circumstances.

A few words about self talk - whether you think you can or think you can't you are right so choose wisely. Secondly, what you believe about yourself gives the devil ammunition to heap shame, guilt, insecurity and fear in your heart. If you choose to practice self talk focus on the positive instead of the negative; focus on the outcome instead of the problem. Speak in the third person instead of the first person, as though you are receiving a word directly from God or a trusted friend because the first person account  is  typically the way the devil whispers the lies he wants you to believe about yourself.

Reminder: Guard your heart because where your thoughts go, your mouth follows and then soon your feelings are on board too!

May you be richly blessed!

Chantale